People commonly refer to me as Bianca. I'm a huge gleek/Klainer <3 My music keeps me hostage I'm somewhat of a writer. An aspiring Director. I speak fluent s a r c a s a m Favourite band is Marianas Trench. If I didn't like Darren Criss, I wouldn't visit this blog, Presents unwrapped on January 11th
The nominees are:
And the winner is:
it’s 2014 and food can still make you fat get it together science
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
that was a wild ride
My grandpa has Alzheimer’s so he has no idea who my grandma is but everyday for the last three or four months he brings her in flowers from their garden and asks her to run away with him and be his wife and everyday she says she already is and everyday the smile my grandpa gets on his face is the most beautiful heartfelt thing I have ever seen.
still not over how effortlessly he does this
Seriously, he has Anna (who must be at least a hundred pounds, bare minimum) in a dead lift, all but over his head, arms pretty much straight out, legs not even braced…
He must be able to kill a man just by shrugging those shoulders of his.
didnt he literally pick sven up at one point though
he hauls ice for a living and lived with trolls made of stone is that even surprising
Can we also talk about how even with all that strength he’s still very gentle too?
kristoff is kristough
he’s also krissoft